Identity Puzzle

Being a teenager is often very confusing. In just a few years, you are expected to go from children who have no care about the world, to adults who should be able to support themselves. You are expected to figure out who you are, what you believe, what you want to do with your lives, and how we fit into the world. From the point of view of society, all these questions are necessary for the development of young adults. However, from the view of a teen these questions can often seem confusing, and overwhelming, but they are a normal part of e development. Some days, I feel like I’m drowning in questions I don’t know how to answer. And while everyone says this is “just a phase,” it doesn’t feel small. Psychologist Erick Erickson described this stage of development as Identity V.S. Role Confusion— a critical time when adolescents explore and grow into their adult selves. 

According to Erickson, there are 8 crucial stages of life that one must go through in order to become their best self. Each stage centers around a main conflict one faces during that age. For example, in early childhood the conflict will be who to trust or in adulthood, finding a partner. For adolescents, the main task is to create a stable sense of self. If you succeed at this, you develop a clear identity; if not, you may experience identity clashes and confusion of who you are and where you belong. This confusion is what Erickson refers to as role confusion which can later hinder confidence, relationships and future decisions. 

As a teenager myself, I can relate to this theory on a personal level. It often feels like I am balancing many versions of myself– the one I show my parents, the one I show my friends and the one that the world expects me to be. I don’t even know which one is me anymore. Sometimes, I feel grounded and confident, but other times I feel unsure and disconnected from myself. It's not only me but many others around this end will agree to have a change of hobbies, friend groups, career interests and dressing. At times, this feels frustrating or even scary, like I’m falling apart instead of growing up. This may seem like a reason to worry but in fact this is very normal and even necessary. 

In psychology , this period is called moratorium. It is when adolescents are encouraged to experiment with different roles and beliefs before making long term commitments. This applies to things like jobs and relationships. Research shows that teens who are allowed to explore freely often develop stronger identities. On the other hand, who's who feel pressure to commit too early or constantly listen to outside expectations may be stuck in a state of role confusion. Some factors that also play a role in this are your peers, parents and even social media. It is crucial to surround yourself with people that support and love you for who you are. This allows you to focus on yourself and develop self love. Social media, with its good effects, also hinders confidence. It may pressure you to have a clear identity, aesthetic or set of values even if you're just trying to figure things out. In some cases, role confusion has led to anxiety, low self esteem, depression or difficulties in moving on in life.

During this stage, social relationships are changing. Teens crave for more validation in society to have reassurance that they are doing the right thing. But, what can you or the people around you do to help you with this process of change? Encouraging self expression through style, interests and beliefs without judgment is a crucial point. It is also important to expose yourself to diverse experiences as it opens up your mind to the different things in the world. But most importantly, you must foster healthy friendships and social bonds. You can do this by participating in clubs, community groups and setting effective boundaries. 

Erickson believed that resolving the identity crisis is one of the most important parts of adolescence. However, it is not a one time event. Identity is a thing that is ever growing and shifts as we gain more experience. That means that it is okay if we don’t have all the answers yet. What truly matters is that we are asking questions and making an effort to understand ourselves.  

In conclusion, Erickson’s theory of Identity V.S. Role Confusion helps explain why the teen years are so full of change and challenge. It also reminds us that this process is important for becoming independent, thoughtful adults. As a teenager living through this stage, I’ve learned that self discovery takes time, patience and a lot of reflection. While it can be difficult, it is also a powerful opportunity to shape who you want to become. 

And in a world that keeps asking us to “figure it all out,” sometimes the bravest thing we can do is admit that we haven’t — and that’s okay.

~ Aarya Godse

5/18/25